cofusion about personal messages

[todmun]

Is it ok to send someone a personal message using the "send this member a personal message" button in their profile? I often do this as a way of thanking people for their postings and their profiles and pix. I don't ask anyone to cam or chat or even respond, but I am confused on when it is ok to do this. Somebody help me...

[bayouguy]

Is it ok to send someone a personal message using the "send this member a personal message" button in their profile? I often do this as a way of thanking people for their postings and their profiles and pix. I don't ask anyone to cam or chat or even respond, but I am confused on when it is ok to do this. Somebody help me...

Yes toddmun,  Thanks and compliments are always appreciated.  I try to thank people for their post and pics as often as I can.

Unacceptable messages are defined below

**PLEASE READ: We've had a few guys sending unsolicited private messages to girls here asking them to chat or cam. This is not allowed. Rude requests will not be tolerated. Also, in the chat room, do not PM someone without asking first. Please take note! Anyone reported for violating these rules risks being banned 3 days for the first offense... and banned for life for the second offense.

[Nipped]

Is the confusion really between personal messages in someone's profile that go to their messages folder and what is really an INSTANT MESSAGE (also called a PM by some people) in the chat room? Just like in the MP chat, you are supposed to ask first to IM someone in the chatroom and never ask someone to cam, etc.

I think it's real nice when people send you messages and say something nice about a pic or something else. So Todmun, keep up the compliments. Girls lap it up like a kitty lapping up cream.

[ilikeitalot]

In the forum here, it's perfectly fine to send someone a personal message to compliment them, thank them, even ask them a non-threatening question.  In fact, that's encouraged. 

What is not allowed, is making unsolicited requests, like "do you cam?" or "do you wanna suck my cock?"  The latter question could be okay if you get to know them and know they like to play like that.  But don't get too personal until after you get to know them and they are responsive.  For instance, don't be asking them where they live, then respond with, for example, "oh wow, I live really close to you! we should get together".  That would likely scare them and make them think you're a stalker.

For the girls, I recommend you ignore anyone asking questions you don't want to answer.  Doing that, they'll leave you alone from sheer boredom.  Of course, if they say anything blatantly offensive, let me know so I can put a stop to it.

BTW, the private messenging rule is different in the chat room.  Because it's annoying for girls to have multiple windows popping up continuously, we do not allow any private messenging there unless you ask first in the public chat area.

[todmun]

thanks for the clairifications, guys and gals...i thought i was on the right track, but didn't want to offend, or, heaven forbid, be banished! tod

[Richare]

Am I right to assume that once two people have agreed to be "buddies" in the chat room, that permission should not be required each time you want to chat privately?   Otherwise, there is little point to the buddy system, is there?

[Mani]

No your assumption is incorrect. There are other uses for the buddy system in the chat room, including controlling who can see your cam. You should make an explicit agreement with anyone who you would like to circumvent asking permission with.