Loss of intense clit sensitivity: D/T vibrator use

[JulesWarmwetlips]

I masturbated with my hands when first separated from spouse a year ago.  My sex drive is what I'd rate a bit high for a 44 year old female, in my professional opinion, as an OB/GYN nurse.  I knew being single would be difficult.  So, lol, yes, I masturbated a lot.

I knew the demons vibrators could be to someone in my place.  They gave such incredible sensation, such intense orgasms, and in the beginning, they were just these tiny little 'couldn't hurt a mouse' gadgets. Ladies, we've all seen the commercials! The chicks going on a plane trip and show a box slipped into her purse, "Why it's no bigger than a nail file. ggrreat for Travel!! Order now!!"

But as time crept on its like being a junkie, suddenly, I've something in the bedroom requiring a wall outlet!  I got caught caught up, in the need of excellent G-spot stim and perfect clit massage and, well...hells bells, you never had those awkward silences with vibrators in the morning over coffee trying to remember their names and when the hell would they'd be leaving, OR God forbid would it want your phone number!!

So I'm caught in the devil's bargin here.  And I've taken time periods away from them and it doesn't seem to be working.  Anyone out there with similar experiences that has helped themselves, please write!  Thanks!  Jules

[onlythelonely]

Wow, what a great question. I researched a little online & generally the responses are split about 70/30 towards "no a vib will not lead to decreased sensitivity", however even some of those responses state not to "overdo" using the vibe. Hmmm, patiently waiting, drumming my fingers on the table, wondering what time it is in Seattle? ( Code for this is a great question for Mani).

*Note: Not saying Mani has a clit....lol, just he's like Dr Drew, with common sense.

[Mani]

LOL thanks for the lead-in OTL. Or, was it a set-up?? haha!

I found poking around the web on this question didn't yield much in terms of an authoritative answer to this. Mostly the "don't overdo it" warnings are about being careful about not causing skin irritation by overusing a vibrator, and also not to get too vigorous with one lest one bruises their tender bits. Not the issue that Jules is concerned about.

So I decided to go straight to The Source: Betty Dodsen, artist, author, and PhD sexologist who has been one of the principal voices for women's sexual pleasure and health for over three decades.  In the 70's and early 80s she held women's masturbation clinics and personally demonstrated and promoted the use of the Hitachi Wand vibrator. I figure if anyone knows the answer to this question of desensitization, it would be her!

Here is her answer to a similar question on her website, and (as I hoped) it is about myth-busting the idea that there is a right or normal way to to have an orgasm:

http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/01/using-vibrator-cant-orgasm-during-oralmanual-sex

The only thing I feel qualified to add to her answer is this, I personally would have no problem incorporating the use of a vibrator into sex play with a partner. In fact I think it would be a lot of fun and very exciting. I don't imagine many men would object!  I recommend to Jules she brings her favorite toy right on into the bedroom with her next partner - and bring some spare batteries!

[onlythelonely]

 

I masturbated with my hands when first separated from spouse a.  My sex drive is what I'd rate a bit
high for a 44 year old female, in my professional opinion, as an OB/GYN nurse.

*Blushes........You Nurses are a horny bunch, no? 

[onlythelonely]

On a more serious note, perhaps this is a psychosomatic response from the body? Akin to when a man masturbates a certain way ( and only that way) the carryover into his sexual life is not always a good one ( i.e. can't cum/cums too fast). Just a thought.

[JulesWarmwetlips]

Wow, what a great question. I researched a little online & generally the responses are split about 70/30 towards "no a vib will not lead to decreased sensitivity", however even some of those responses state not to "overdo" using the vibe. Hmmm, patiently waiting, drumming my fingers on the table, wondering what time it is in Seattle? ( Code for this is a great question for Mani).

*Note: Not saying Mani has a clit....lol, just he's like Dr Drew, with common sense.

Wow, I'm really surprised you found that answer, the 70/30 split that no vib no loss!  Not that Real male tongue, fingers, cock and everything else isn't a thousand times better than any artificial material in the world, I grant you. But the fact remains, a vibrator makes the movements you want at the timing you want EXACTLY when you want, which no human being can can do.  Thats why I'm surprised.
As for drumming my fingers on the table or tapping my toes or any other activity, I don't think sky diving at this point is gonna help me out dammnit. 
  What I WANT, is a FB, not facebook either. I want a casual friend I've known a while who's in my situation, not looking for an obligation with an appetite to deal with and a similar freak flag.  lol  ......... hmmmm how to strike up conversations at parties about that?  I'll have to work on it.

[JulesWarmwetlips]

LOL thanks for the lead-in OTL. Or, was it a set-up?? haha!

I found poking around the web on this question didn't yield much in terms of an authoritative answer to this. Mostly the "don't overdo it" warnings are about being careful about not causing skin irritation by overusing a vibrator, and also not to get too vigorous with one lest one bruises their tender bits. Not the issue that Jules is concerned about.

So I decided to go straight to The Source: Betty Dodsen, artist, author, and PhD sexologist who has been one of the principal voices for women's sexual pleasure and health for over three decades.  In the 70's and early 80s she held women's masturbation clinics and personally demonstrated and promoted the use of the Hitachi Wand vibrator. I figure if anyone knows the answer to this question of desensitization, it would be her!

Here is her answer to a similar question on her website, and (as I hoped) it is about myth-busting the idea that there is a right or normal way to to have an orgasm:

http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/01/using-vibrator-cant-orgasm-during-oralmanual-sex

The only thing I feel qualified to add to her answer is this, I personally would have no problem incorporating the use of a vibrator into sex play with a partner. In fact I think it would be a lot of fun and very exciting. I don't imagine many men would object!  I recommend to Jules she brings her favorite toy right on into the bedroom with her next partner - and bring some spare batteries!

Mani! I cannot thank you enough for the link!  don't know that I totally agree with the doc on my own body in particular instance but I've definately found one of the best, well rounded, open minded group of people to keep up with about one of my top 3 subjects!  I never would have discovered that site without ya!  Thanks for handing over such a great bunch of well schooled, humorous group to keep me on top of my game!  I'm hittin' my single years as a lover with more to offer than I ever have, including confidence, because of the knowledge I gain.  ...... that and I have great tits and ass. LOL    (kidding!)

[Northern Nurse]

I totally agree with the above posters. The one thing that gives me hesitation is the "plug in" aspect. I am going to go out on a limb and say that it is the Hitachi Magic Wand that you are using. That thing is like a Jackhammer beating up over 7000 nerve endings. (a guy has 3000 in his glands) Save the wand for back massage with your lovers and use battery powered ones for your more sensitive bits. We have the mystic wand and it is great for both male and female genital massage.

Great link Mani!