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Author *Topic: Chat Reminder  (Read 6862 times)
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Mani
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« on: July 03, 2015, 01:32:35 PM »

I don't know what it is, the full moon, the hot weather? But there's been a lot of problems in chat lately.  So, two reminders:



New members: "Don't be an asshole." Read & follow our rules, and do not provoke people with insulting or annoying comments. If you don't like the chat or the people, leave. We are not here to conform to your expectations and commands. Immediate and summary deletion from chat and the site is the likely result for anyone that insists on being a pest.

Existing members: "Be Cool." Don't feed the trolls! Don't pile on an offensive member and turn a mole-hill into a mountain. It only encourages them. A mild reminder or suggestion is OK but if if it causes things to get worse, DROP IT. Report the person and then ignore them. If you can't ignore them, block them. If you can't ignore them and won't block them, it's your problem: leave the chat! There's been enough vigilante-style action in chat lately, and it's not always warranted, and it's disruptive. MANY MEMBERS DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AND HAVE COMPLAINED!
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iluvgirls
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« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2015, 02:28:41 PM »

Thank you, Mani for the nice reminder and guidance.   We are blessed to have a great administrative staff here.  Everyone please defer to them when there are issues.   I am sure I am joined by many members in having confidence the staff will address concerns swiftly and fairly, just as they always have in the past.

Keep O the very special fun friendly place it has always been Smiley
« iluvgirls fucked with this post July 15, 2015, 08:15:13 PM » Logged
ashyguy
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« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2015, 02:31:49 PM »

Those are great tips!

I really like the "Be cool" idea - everybody (new&old) can step way beyond the comfort-zone/rules - and many times a gentle nudge will set us right... I believe that everybody here just want to have a good time (And to add a little to others having a good time)

 
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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2015, 10:13:59 AM »

maybe the vip who thoughtit ok to tell the whole room that being old enough to be her father was a great craic, and wasn,t interested in me or any1 over 30. should also reflect how that makes ppl feel  after all most of us are only here to chat anyway  and does being a certain age stop ppl from chatting to you   I dunno  maybe it does .never had the misfortune to experience this b4 on this site.
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Mani
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« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2015, 11:02:16 AM »

maybe the vip who thoughtit ok to tell the whole room that being old enough to be her father was a great craic, and wasn,t interested in me or any1 over 30. should also reflect how that makes ppl feel  after all most of us are only here to chat anyway  and does being a certain age stop ppl from chatting to you   I dunno  maybe it does .never had the misfortune to experience this b4 on this site.

Hi Icecool,

Everyone has the right to decide who they want to talk to and who they don't want to talk to. You don't have to agree with their reasons, but you do have to respect them. An age difference is certainly not something to take personally, but. The VIP certainly could have been more cordial about it, however. So this really falls under the "be cool" heading. Just accept their stated preference and don't take offense. If you're bothered too much, block them so you can focus on  meeting other new friends!

Mani
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Mani
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« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2015, 03:25:20 PM »

Anyone following this thread may notice Nikkisan is no longer a member, she decided to leave the site based on some of her recent experiences.
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« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2015, 09:44:50 PM »

Thank you for your comments and actions.  The sooner we're rid of these trolls the better.
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Mani
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« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2015, 02:48:18 PM »

The latest rude chatter to be removed is Tattoodiver. Thanks to those who reported him, and for not making a Big Deal of it while he was busy being a jerk.
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bikerguy302000
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« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2015, 09:49:08 AM »

Ive found that every time Ive been in chat, its been a pleasant and welcoming room so far Smiley Shows it must just be a minority that cause the issues.
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Mani
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« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2015, 05:41:23 PM »

Ive found that every time Ive been in chat, its been a pleasant and welcoming room so far Smiley Shows it must just be a minority that cause the issues.


I am glad that's been your experience Bikerguy!

It really is true that it's a very small minority that causes issues. And an even smaller part of that minority doesn't seem to want to get it. Consequently, two chatters have just received 3-day suspensions from chat for being extremely rude and aggressive towards other members.

The chat is intended to be a pleasant and safe environment for people of all legal ages and proclivities to engage in positive sexual expression. Anyone that persists in behavior that runs counter to that mission will lose access to the chat!

Mani
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« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2015, 06:09:23 PM »

A shout out to Mani for being one bad-ass Admin! Thank You for everything you do for us!

I don't get into chat all that often these days so I can't say much about what's happening lately. However, I've noticed the "vib" of the chat has changed some in the past few years. Some folks aren't very sensitive to others feelings and say some things that normally would say or do outside of "social media". On the flip side; some folks are very quick to get their feathers ruffled.  I've never had any real problems that I could deal with on my own but part of that may be my personality.

In Jamaica they have a saying "Everythig is irie mon"  Irie means to be at total peace with your current state of being. The way you feel when you have no worries.
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ilikeitalot
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« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2015, 01:13:13 PM »

After reviewing the chat logs on this matter, we (ilikeitalot, Mani, Donna, Cheffie and Obabe) have unanimously decided to make the suspensions (that Mani referenced above) permanent. This kind of gang/bully activity will not be tolerated here. Here's a little rant that I felt compelled to share, so hopefully everyone will understand what happened here:

Quote from: ilikeitalot
Someone new came into O chat the other day (English was not their native language btw). After chatting a bit, this guy asked a girl if he could view her. For some reason, this apparently painted a bulls-eye on his back, because this person then got bullied relentlessly by the girl and a few of her cohorts. The bullied person actually took it quite well (maybe he didn't understand all the things they were saying to him? not sure). But the things they said to him were like kids in a schoolyard. And they were said with such glee and malice. I was very embarrassed just reading it. (For the record, after reviewing the chat logs, we found other examples of the same exact thing happening with this group to other newcomers. Also for the record, arbitrarily calling a newbie -- who most likely is in the process of learning how our chat works -- a "troll" does not make it OK to treat them like that.)

Let me make this clear: We do not allow bullying here. For any reason. If you think someone is breaking a rule or treating someone wrong, you should report them (screenshot here). It's easy. And it works. If we find good evidence and reason to warn or ban the reported person, we will make that happen. I know human nature is to go Dirty Harry on someone you think is doing wrong, especially when it's online and there are no apparent repercussions. But you see, we have found that that typically just causes escalating nonsense that can get totally out of control. And before you know it, we have a full-fledged civil war, with everyone forced to choose which side they're on, often without knowing all -- or ANY -- of the real facts. OK, I'm ending my rant now. Thanks for listening. ~ilikeitalot
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DeeDee69
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« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2015, 02:30:33 PM »

Thank you for this post....I see this a lot, not necessarily here but in the chat world and I find it offensive that it is overlooked so many times.  I am glad you brought it up and let people know what this site is about....It makes me more comfortable as it seems a lot of the time when I am in chat I am the only chick with the cam on so I dont come around often because I kinda feel like an outsider....But I can tell you that whenever I am chat, anyone can view my cam as that is what its there for...to see the people you chat with and become familiar with them...It is much easier to have conversations with people when you can see expressions and gestures etc...So again thank you for bringing this situation out into the open.
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Ally
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« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2015, 09:39:39 PM »

The sad thing is without even being there I can already tell by reading, who it was. It's happened a lot with this person, unfortunately. I don't understand how a person can feel okay acting like that, even online in a chat. And being fairly new themselves, at that. Glad to see they're now gone. I myself avoided the chat room often while this person was around..
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knightd73
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« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2015, 02:35:29 AM »

not sure when or why this happened, being in different time zones 12+ in some cases means it either damn quiet or busy as when I log in.

i enter another chat room as well, and trolls there are just as bad, at least here we have direct action when its required, unlike the others wheer we can do several flags and still nothign occurs.
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