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Author *Topic: For the older gents....  (Read 2394 times)
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iamjustme
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« on: April 14, 2018, 10:22:29 AM »

... well for the younger bucks too, your'e going to be us sooner than you think.

  Like many men over 50, I have developed some sexual problems....namely the difficulty in ejaculating during intercourse. Most of the time I am unable to do it...I just poof out. I get too tired and start losing the desire to cum for the trouble it is taking.
  We both enjoy the sex we are having, both for the intimacy and the eroticism. We do lots of different things and enjoy them all.
But I would like to "finish" inside of her more than I do.
  And like most men, I can cum every single time without difficulty masturbating. As well as when we masturbate together.
But I want to prefer sex to masturbation, and being honest, it is at least even now....with perhaps a small preference to doing it myself. So much less effort.

  What are your experiences?
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Mani
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« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2018, 10:42:19 AM »

Delayed Ejaculation
An issue that many couples struggle with
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/you-it/200806/delayed-ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation Revisited
It doesn't have to get in the way of great sex
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/you-it/201605/delayed-ejaculation-revisited

I have attached the PDF mentioned in the articles. It has the BEST information I have ever seen on this much-neglected issue.


* Delayed-Ejaculation.pdf (95.14 KB - downloaded 33 times.)
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Anonymouse
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« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2018, 06:25:00 AM »

How strong are your erections?  For the longest time I had a very similar issue.  I could masturbate and orgasm just fine, but sexual intercourse was a different story.  I too would just go and go and eventually run out of steam before climaxing, yet again had no issue during masturbation.  My next doctor visit, I embarrassingly brought the issue up to my medical provider.  My provider and I decided to try out some meds for erectile dysfunction.  I was thinking...hey I'm in my 40's I am too young to be having these issues right?  Well after trying out a few different types of erectile meds, I settled on Levitra.  I must say, even though I was getting erections before, I didn't realize how much difference there was between a 3/4 erection and full erection.  Once I was experiencing full erections again, for me the pleasure and sensation of intercourse were back on track.  A fuller erection means that there is more surface area of the head of the penis in contact with the vagina leading to more nerve endings being stimulated and ultimately leading to achieving orgasm much easier.

So...if you havent already, my suggestion is to see a medical provider and try out some low dose viagra, levitra or cialis (whichever one works for you).  Hope this helps.

~Mouse
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dog_tired
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« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2018, 12:29:53 PM »

  Starting to notice this more and more. Glad someone brought it up.
My biggest worry is Miki will think I would actually prefer to jerk off than have sex. Not so.  But finding as my physical shape declines and aches and pains from work ..... hard to keep going long enough to cum without “extra stimulation” like prostate.   But sometimes it would be nice to be intimate and orgasm inside - together.

Thanks for sharing.
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fapparoo
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« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2018, 03:23:36 PM »

I find that physical fitness plays a great role on this. Masturbating generally is not an exhausting practice (although it could be Wink ) so you don't wind up out of breath and can continue to orgasm. In turn sex requires more physical activity and that takes a toll on your performance simply by running tired. While I don't have that problem, I noticed recently on a shower session that I was getting tired and almost losing erection because of the physical demands of the activity - it got a bit more wild and longer than usual Wink So I'd suggest checking your fitness and perhaps get back in the gym, to help improve your aerobic capacity and hopefully back to orgasming as well. Another culprit could be drugs, blood pressure depressants and statins especially could play a role.
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Mani
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« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2018, 04:02:03 PM »

Another culprit could be drugs, blood pressure depressants and statins especially could play a role.

SSRI anti-depressants are particularly well known for causing this problem. There are several threads on the site about this.
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Mani
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« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2018, 04:09:28 PM »

Here are some earlier discussions in our forums regarding difficulty ejaculating. There is good information in each.

Cannot ejaculate
http://www.orgasmanic.com/index.php?topic=2877.0

I Hate Effexor
http://www.orgasmanic.com/index.php?topic=3046.0

Just can't cum
http://www.orgasmanic.com/index.php?topic=4118.0

Antidepressants and Decreased Libido
http://www.orgasmanic.com/index.php?topic=6218.0
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iamjustme
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« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2018, 02:34:37 PM »

For the record... I take 100mg of Atenonol a day...so there is that. I have been taking this drug for over 10 years. It is well known to cause impotence.
But that is not particularly my issue. Occasionally I have issues maintaining an erection if I am not all that into it, or my back hurts or I am tired etc. My biggest problem is difficulty ejaculating during intercourse. Consequently, I can ejaculate in 1 minute flat if I am particularly aroused and masturbate.
  Also in the interest of disclosure. I left a bad marriage about 3 years ago now. We did not have sex for several-several years before we divorced, and  it wasn't very good for several years before that. So all I had was masturbation. I remarried about a year ago now, we have sex about 2-3 times a week. And I love it.
But I do wonder if part of my problem is that I became accustomed to "manual stimulation" and my brain can't make the switch.

  I do recognize that as you age, the litany of things that can interfere with your abilities have a much greater effect than when you were young and you could get a rock hard erection standing naked in 10 below zero weather!
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« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2018, 04:58:42 PM »

I was on effexor (I think that's the name) about 10 years ago and found that it was very difficult to ejaculate while on it. I did after while realize if my bladder was partially filled I was able to ejaculate, although very intensely. Anyway it was more intense than typical climaxes but after while it was a little frustrating. Also found refraining from caffeine while on this medication was also helpful.
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Stay hard, be happy
Anonymouse
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« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2018, 03:31:15 AM »

My biggest problem is difficulty ejaculating during intercourse. Consequently, I can ejaculate in 1 minute flat if I am particularly aroused and masturbate.
 

As I mentioned earlier...I had a similar issue.  I didn't think it was an erection issue.  Just like you I could easily masturbate to orgasm.  I just didn't realize that my erections were not a strong enough until I tried some ED meds (low dose Viagra, Levitra etc.).  My primary care provider explained (and it makes sense) that the firmer your erection, the larger the head of the penis.  More surface area of the glans exposed means that more nerves endings are getting stimulated...easier to achieve orgasm.  Made sense to me.

Hope you can find some good advice.

~Mouse
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jjfrank67
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« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2018, 04:21:38 PM »

I don't know if I have this problem or not....I know masturbation I cum every time, been awhile since I had sex a real long time sorry to say ... I have to find a willing partner and find out I guess....  Fucking doggy style
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Love to find someone near me to have fun with in person or on line
bigredinmass
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« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2018, 05:59:23 PM »

For the record... I take 100mg of Atenonol a day...so there is that. I have been taking this drug for over 10 years. It is well known to cause impotence.
But that is not particularly my issue. Occasionally I have issues maintaining an erection if I am not all that into it, or my back hurts or I am tired etc. My biggest problem is difficulty ejaculating during intercourse. Consequently, I can ejaculate in 1 minute flat if I am particularly aroused and masturbate.
  Also in the interest of disclosure. I left a bad marriage about 3 years ago now. We did not have sex for several-several years before we divorced, and  it wasn't very good for several years before that. So all I had was masturbation. I remarried about a year ago now, we have sex about 2-3 times a week. And I love it.
But I do wonder if part of my problem is that I became accustomed to "manual stimulation" and my brain can't make the switch.

  I do recognize that as you age, the litany of things that can interfere with your abilities have a much greater effect than when you were young and you could get a rock hard erection standing naked in 10 below zero weather!

Have you considered or can you switch to another type of BP med like a calcium channel blocker or ACE inhibitor?

Could also be using a very tight grip when you jerk off and so the vagina isnt giving your glans what they want?
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iamjustme
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« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2018, 02:52:30 PM »

For the record... I take 100mg of Atenonol a day...so there is that. I have been taking this drug for over 10 years. It is well known to cause impotence.
But that is not particularly my issue. Occasionally I have issues maintaining an erection if I am not all that into it, or my back hurts or I am tired etc. My biggest problem is difficulty ejaculating during intercourse. Consequently, I can ejaculate in 1 minute flat if I am particularly aroused and masturbate.
  Also in the interest of disclosure. I left a bad marriage about 3 years ago now. We did not have sex for several-several years before we divorced, and  it wasn't very good for several years before that. So all I had was masturbation. I remarried about a year ago now, we have sex about 2-3 times a week. And I love it.
But I do wonder if part of my problem is that I became accustomed to "manual stimulation" and my brain can't make the switch.

  I do recognize that as you age, the litany of things that can interfere with your abilities have a much greater effect than when you were young and you could get a rock hard erection standing naked in 10 below zero weather!

Have you considered or can you switch to another type of BP med like a calcium channel blocker or ACE inhibitor?

Could also be using a very tight grip when you jerk off and so the vagina isnt giving your glans what they want?

   Fortunately my hypertension is not critically high, just stubbornly won't go away. With no medication it was hovering around 140/100. I tried numerous ones and they either wouldn't work or I had bad side effects. Atenonol just works. My BP is almost always around 110-120/ 70's And the side effects are minimal. Which I am lucky. Atenonol is one of BP meds that is widely known to cause impotence, but it doesn't me. Just can't be in the sun for long periods of time.
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